


Awake and Alive

by RinAsami



Series: Awake Series [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Beating, Betrayal, Cannibalism, Character Death, Dark, Demons, Eventual Smut, Evil, Gross, Loneliness, M/M, Mind Games, Original Character Death(s), Out of Character, Psychological Torture, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad, Sebastian Michaelis Being An Asshole, Sebastian Michaelis is a Demon, Torture, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-18 10:38:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4702955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RinAsami/pseuds/RinAsami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time is up. Ciel is about to find out what happens when Sebastian gets tired of their little game. Ciel may think he knows what the demon is capable of but he has no idea how cruel he can be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Is this a nightmare?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first attempt at writing anything, so it may suck and not in a good way. I do not have a fully formed idea where this story will go or how many chapters. I do know it will be dark, involve underage rape, emotional trauma, cannibalism, and severe sadness. Sebastian will be a truly evil demon. You have been warned. Thank you for reading this shot in the dark.

The manor was quiet when Ciel awoke in the early morning hours; it must have been 3 or 4 am judging by the moon in the sky. Shivers wrecked his body as the memory of what must have been a nightmare came to the surface. He couldn’t remember what the awful dream was about; just remembering hearing crying and screaming and then waking up in silence.

Not being able to get back to sleep he decided to take a walk around the manor to clear his mind. Grabbing a night robe and candle he quietly exited the bedroom and walked down the long hallway. It was strange being awake and wandering the halls in silence with no sounds of explosions, breaking dishes, or ‘ho ho hos.’ Ciel was surprised he hadn’t seen Sebastian yet while wandering the vast halls. Usually his able butler would be at his bedroom door with tea as soon as he awoke, no matter the time. Not wanting to put much thought into the matter at such an early time, Ciel walked on for another 15 minutes, glancing at the portraits on the wall, willing himself to exhaustion.

Deciding that he had enough Ciel started walking down his ballroom stairs when he suddenly slipped on something liquid and slid down the remainder of the stairs. “Mey Rin” he yelled as the jumped up as if someone just witnessed the embarrassing fall. Fuming that Mey Rin left a puddle of water on the stairs he swiftly turned to march right back up those menacing stairs, find Sebastian, and demand that he clean it up at once only to stop in his tracks. Ciel’s gaze went from the candlelight and drifted up the stairs to see not water gracing the pristine carpet but thick crimson blood.

“What…am I still dreaming?” he whispered to himself, not believing what he was seeing. Ciel closed his eyes and shook his head fiercely; willing himself to wake up as this had to be a nightmare. A nightmare, yes, it had to be a nightmare, there is no other explanation. After taking a deep breath his long lashes opened only to find the crimson liquid still dripping off the stairs. “Sebastian!” he screamed but there was no black raven that swooped in to save him. “Mey Rin, Finny, Baldroy, Tanaka come down here at once!” Of course they wouldn’t be able to hear him in such a large manor but the young lord wasn’t thinking clearly.

Ciel took off running up the stairs, down the hall, past his bedroom before coming to a light at the end of the hall. The drawing room, someone is in the drawing room he thought. Slowing down and steading his breath he silently approached the lighted doorway of the drawing room. Ever so slowly peeking inside the doorway he saw a sight that is of true nightmares.

Ciel turned and promptly emptied what were the contents of his stomach on the hall floor and dropped to his knees. What he saw made his blood run cold. Wiping his mouth of the vile substance, steeling himself, he got up and entered the dimly lit drawing room. Sitting on the large sofa were Mey Rin, Finny, Baldroy, and Tanaka, all with open wild eyes. Ciel knew the moment he saw them. Each of their heads were severed and gently balancing on their bodies; blood still dripping from the torn flesh. Looking up on the wall, above the carnage, was a single word, written in blood…CHECKMATE.

“What is this?” Ciel choked. “Where is Sebastian? Sebastian! I order you, come to me, NOW!” Appearing suddenly behind him, Sebastian appears with a smirk. “Yes, My Lord?” Spinning around Ciel shouted, “Sebastian, you cannot lie to me, tell me, am I dreaming; is everyone dead? Tell Me!” as he clutched his butler’s lapel.

Grinning down at his distraught young master, Sebastian uncurled Ciel’s fingers from his person and laughed as his jagged teeth became visible “You damn demon, what is this?” Ciel shrieked and moved to strike his butler in the face with his right hand. Swiftly grabbing Ciel’s hand in midair and twisting his small body around while pinning his arm painfully behind his back; he forced Ciel to look at the lifeless bodies of his servants. Sebastian grabbed his master’s jaw harshly, forcing him to stop talking, and gently bent down to his master’s ear and licked its shell.

“No my lord, you are not dreaming; you are awake and you are alive...the only one alive."


	2. It's all fun and games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for the kudos and comments everyone! I am truly shocked that I've gotten as many as I have for this being the first time I've tried my hand at writing. I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

Silence is what came next. Ciel didn’t even breathe as those last few words his butler whispered in his ear sunk in. “The only one alive” is what the demon had said. The sweeping emotion that came like a wave over him was not fear, but anger. Pure hate infused anger boiled up within the little Lord’s frame. Sebastian let his master go so he could enjoy the anguish that was bound to be crossing that young face at the moment. Ciel spun around and instead of trying to run or fight he did the unthinkable…he laughed. Sebastian was shocked and intrigued on what was going thru his master’s mind at the moment. Surly the Earl Phantomhive’s mind was not broken yet from this display.

“Is this your idea of a joke Sebastian? You too like your games don’t you? I am your master; you cannot disobey me, abandon me, nor betray me until the end and I have gotten my revenge. If this were real it would be a grave betrayal which is against the contract; therefore, impossible you damn demon.” Ciel spat with as much venom and disgust he could muster. He just could not believe it, no matter how real it all looked and felt. His butler has been sneaky, condescending, and has put him in harmful situations before but he never would go so far as to break the contract.

Slowly Sebastian slinked forward toward his seething young master until he was close enough to feel his breath. Ciel, not backing up an inch, looked his devilish butler directly in those glowing crimson eyes and waited for an explanation to what must be the most morbid and twisted so called _joke_ ever committed.

“The contract…what contract my lord?” Sebastian said in the most innocent tone he could manage and a smirk that showed his cat like fangs gleaming in the candlelight. “I thought you liked games my lord.” Sebastian snickered.

“Bastard! If you think you can get away with this nonsen…” *Smack* Ciel gasped and his eyes started to water without his consent as the red hand print of his butler appeared on his face.

“I’m sorry young lord, did that hurt? Now tell me, with the pain bubbling in your cheek just now…do you still think you are dreaming? Did that feel real enough to you? If not, I can always accommodate you and do it again on the other side of that pathetic face of yours.” said Sebastian in a sickly sweet voice with a smile on his face.

For once in his short life Ciel was speechless. His mind swirled with hurt, confusion, and sadness. This was real. The searing pain in his cheek just confirmed what he didn’t want to believe. Somehow his faithful butler, his sword, his shield had betrayed him. Sebastian was silent as he calmly watched Ciel’s pained expression morph from pain, sadness, confusion, and fear, to a hint of hopelessness and back again to more pain.

Ciel’s tear stained eyes looked up at Sebastian after several minutes of silence and he uttered “How?” in a whispered voice.

“How did I break the contract? As I said, what contract my lord?” Sebastian smirked.

Ciel didn’t know what his butler was playing at but with a heavy sigh he said, “The contract that we agreed upon five years ago, in which I would get my revenge and you would get my soul. THAT contract!”

Clicking his tongue and shaking his head like he was dealing with a five year old, Sebastian said, “Tsk, tsk young master. Do you always believe what you are told? How very naive of you, and to think you were given the title of an Earl.”

“What?!” Ciel shrieked.

“Calm down my lord. You will wake the servants….oh wait, yes, never mind. Please, do continue as loud as you wish as no one will hear you.”

Ciel’s energy was quickly waning so he sat down in a chair as far away from the still fresh bodies of his servants. Sebastian followed and stood in front of his defeated master. He was a little surprised at how worn his master looked already and decided to answer the question and see the reactions that would come across that weary face.

“Do you know what delights a demon the most, young master? It is not just the decadent taste of a ripe and perfectly seasoned soul sliding down a demon’s throat that we crave. It is the pure delight we feel and relish in when we witness the feelings of anguish and betrayal wash across our human’s face when they realize the demon they so foolishly trusted has led them on and lied to them the entire time. It is truly a site to see my lord. Of course, I imagine you don’t have to see it as you are feeling it at this very moment.” Sebastian cupped Ciel’s face with his hand a wiped away a stray tear that had fallen.

"Yes, it was all a lie my dear Earl. I have lived a long time and must make things interesting from time to time. I wanted a challenge and you seemed like the perfect prey. You needed someone to save you, so I answered and told you want you wanted to hear. You needed an obedient slave that could not disobey you and would protect you; this is what I gave you.”

Ciel looked up at his demon that wasn’t even his and said, “You are a sick bastard and a liar.” and spit in his face.

Grinning and wiping the spittle from his porcelain face, Sebastian coldly said, “No, young master, I am a Demon. Did you really think you could trust a being of hell? What a stupid child.”

Ciel squared his shoulders, looked up at Sebastian with no hint of fear and full of Phantomhive pride and said, “Get on with it. You’ve had your fun and have watched me now for hours with these emotions coming across my face while I’m stuck in a room with the dead bodies of my servants."

"Take my soul you piece of shit! I know you’re starving for it! Go ahead, tear me to pieces you bastard!”

“What language for an Earl of Phantomhive. I know I did not raise you to use those kinds of manners. It must have been your dead parents then?” Sebastian retorted with a devilish grin.

"I’m sure you have heard of rubbing salt in a wound, yes? Well, I plan to do just that, literally and figuratively, of course. And I will tear you to pieces but I will not consume your soul just yet. I’ve been your ever faithful slave for five years now and you’ve not gotten any closer to your revenge you so desperately told me you wanted."

"Did you think I would not notice that all your duties to the queen were just distractions and did nothing to further your ultimate goal of revenge? What is that term humans use? Ah, yes…’payback is hell.’ You, my young master, have used me for five years now and I intend to use you thoroughly for at least that long, if it amuses me.” Sebastian delighted at the silence coming from his master. The great Ciel Phantomhive being silent at a time like this is rare indeed.

Taking the opportunity, Sebastian grabbed Ciel and covered his nose and mouth with his gloved hand while Ciel kicked and punched as hard as he could to gain purchase of needed air to his lungs.

“Shhhh my little lord,” Sebastian cooed. “It is time for lights out, for now.”

The last thing Ciel remembered before succumbing to the lack of oxygen is the feeling of being carried…to where he did not know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope you liked this chapter. I churned this one out pretty quickly in the middle of the night and tried to proofread it at the same time. I'm hoping it still looks like a good chapter by the time I fully wake up tomorrow lol.


	3. Trust me

Ciel awoke with a sharp intake of breath, confused and shaking. The last thing he remembered was his butler striking him and smothering him until unconsciousness. Where was he now? His mind was still fuzzy from waking with such a start. Rubbing his eyes he looked around at his surroundings to see…..his bedroom? Confusion flitted across the lord’s face. He didn’t understand what was going on or how he got to his bedroom. He was in his bed just like normal as if nothing had happened. Three knocks at the door made him jump.

“Young master, it’s time to wake up. I have your earl grey tea prepared for you.” Sebastian said from the outside of the door. Without thinking Ciel permitted his butler to enter. Sebastian entered his master room wheeling the silver butler’s tray with a fresh pot of earl grey tea, sugar cubes, scones, and a newspaper. Ciel just stared out at Sebastian while he approached with the cart. Sebastian prepared the young lord’s tea, served him a scone, and moved to put on the masters eye patch. As soon as Sebastian motioned toward his master’s face, Ciel flinched ever so slightly away from his butler.

“My Lord, are you alright? You seem tense and ill at ease this morning. Did you have another nightmare last night? Sebastian asked.

Moving on instinct, Ciel swiftly grabbed his pistol he kept under his pillow and pointed it directly at Sebastian’s head. “NO, I did not have a nightmare! I remember… you… you murdered the servants and tried to suffocate me you damn demon!” screamed Ciel. *Click* …. *click* …. While mumbling, “damn, stupid, useless pistol,” Ciel threw the weapon across the room with a huff.

Grinning, Sebastian said, “Did you really think I would allow you to have bullets in that pistol with the night terrors you have been having? You could have hurt yourself or someone else and we cannot have that.”

Rolling his eyes, Ciel retorted, “a dog like you would not care seeing as you tried to kill me last night!”

Sebastian signed heavily and suggested, “My Lord, shall I call a physician to the manor? You seem to be having not only night terrors but hallucinations as well.”

Ciel still believed that the events that happened the previous evening where real so he decided to test that theory and said, “Sebastian, I want to see the servants here, in my room, in five minutes.” Sebastian heard the demand and his serene face did not give away any hint concern.

“Young master, do you not remember giving the servants orders to go on holiday after what happened last week?” inquired Sebastian. Ciel shook his head ‘no’ while eyeing his butler harshly because he knew he wasn’t insane.

Chuckling, Sebastian just shook his head and replied… “Last week the servants were trying to throw an outdoor surprise party for you to get you out of your sour mood and cheer you up from your reoccurring night terrors. Nothing ended up as it was supposed to sadly. Finny ended up destroying all of your precious silver roses, Mey Rin broke your mother’s tea set she received from the Queen, and Bardroy tried to make your favorite chocolate dessert and burned it into a crisp after he forgot he turned the oven on high to speed up the process.”

Taking Ciel’s teacup he continued, “You were so furious with them. You ordered all of them to get out and to take a holiday just so they would get away from you. Tanaka went with them to make sure no other calamity befell them while they were away.” The able butler then checked Ciel’s forehead for fever and asked, “Are you sure you won’t permit me to phone the physician, you do feel warm to the touch.”

Sighing, Ciel slammed his head back into his soft feather pillows. His head was pounding and he was confused. Ciel could feel that he was a little warmer than normal and in the past he did have nightmares. The other servants did have a habit of destroying things and with his past sour moods he wouldn’t put it past himself to dismiss them on holiday to get some sort of reprieve from their incessant screw ups.

The problem was he didn’t know if he could trust himself or his butler anymore. _“Was he sick or was he going crazy? Was it a night terror he witnessed last night? Is Sebastian lying? And if Sebastian is lying, why do so?”_ were the thoughts going through the Earl’s head while Sebastian was patiently waiting for an answer regarding the doctor. When the little lord did not make a decision on a physician, Sebastian made the call and the physician showed up within a few hours. After checking Ciel over and speaking with Sebastian privately, the doctor prescribed a mild sedative to help with sleeping and an elixir to help the fever go down. Reluctantly, Ciel followed the physician’s orders regarding the medicine; all the while wondering if he should trust his butler and doctor or trust his instincts.

After two days of taking the prescriptions, the Earl did feel better. Things were still not one hundred percent right though. Ciel noticed that things seemed to vanish or move from where he knew he put them last. After searching for a stack of paperwork he was working on hours previously, he asked Sebastian if he had seen the missing documents.

“Master, you put them in your drawer, as you always do. Did you look in there?” Sebastian inquired. Huffing, Ciel marched over to the drawer and yanked it open to prove to his butler that he had already looked there; however, upon opening the drawer, the papers were inside just as they should have been.

“I know I am not crazy Sebastian! I just looked in that drawer a few minutes ago and they were Not there!” the grumpy lord exclaimed.

“Of course they weren’t my lord.” Sebastian said with a smirk. Going even further to patronize his master, Sebastian looked toward his master and said, “Master, would you like to entrust your duties to me? The stress of all this paperwork and such must be hard on one so ill. What a bother to be forgetting blocks of time and misplacing things.”

A book whirled past Sebastian head. “How dare you! I know you have something to do with all this, even though I cannot prove it at the moment!” scolded Ciel.

Sebastian just laughed off the feeble attempt at throwing a fit. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Sebastian sympathetically looked down at this master and frowned. “My lord, I am your butler and my aesthetic dictates that I be one hell of a butler to the very end. I am truly _hurt_ you would suggest I would do such things.”

Ciel rolled his eyes; sighed and said, “Don’t even try and play innocent demon. Just get out of here. I can’t stand to see you right now.” Mumbling under his breath Ciel said, “What’s he playing at? I am really going insane?”

As Sebastian was exiting his room Ciel could have sworn he heard a faint laugh coming from his butler’s direction. With a sigh, Sebastian started down the hallway after closing the Earl’s door and went to tend to his other duties with a grin that showed his glistening fangs in the candlelight.

“Excellent…,” he chuckled. “Yes my little lord, _trust me_.” Sebastian said with snort.


	4. I am Ciel Phantomhive

A book lays hidden under a false bottomed drawer inside the Lord Phantomhive’s study. This beautiful book with gold inlay on its pages and worn leather binding with a tarnished Phantomhive crest gleaming on its cover is what hides the last remaining heir of the Phantomhive family’s deepest thoughts and musings. No one knows of this book, not even the sly butler in black. This book, this tattered, seemly insignificant tome of musings from a 14 year old boy is all that Ciel has to keep himself sane.

It has been weeks or so he thinks since he sent his servants away on holiday or so his butler says. Things are confusing, he can’t think straight, he can’t remember things, and he cannot believe that he is truly going insane.

Three weeks ago or was it longer possibly? He found himself in his bathroom, in the middle of the night, with a knife in his hand and slashes on his thighs. He had no idea how he got the knife, when he went into the bathroom, or why he would do such a thing to himself. Thinking about it all made the young lord cringe with disgust and a shiver wrecked his body as he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Of all the things he forgets, he cannot forget this memory.

~~~flashback~~~

“Sebastian! Sebastian, come here right now!” Ciel’s shaky, panicked, and scared voice screamed out in the dead of night. Throwing a knife he somehow had in his hand he grabbed a nearby towel and started pressing at the weeping wounds that were found on his thighs at an attempt to stop the blood flow. From what he could see in the dark and what he felt, there were not more than six or so cuts but there was so much blood. Bursting through the door came Sebastian just a mere minute after hearing the scream of his master.

“My Lord, are you alright?” Sebastian gasped as he looked down at his seated master with a blood soaked towel and in a flash had first aid necessities in one hand and Ciel in the other to set him and the bandages on the bed. Sebastian hurriedly removed the towel, assessed the wounds and started cleaning and bandaging them up with the upmost care and precision.

“Young master, how did this happen?” Sebastian asked after Ciel was resting in his bed with a fresh cup of tea and tight bandages on thighs.

For the first time Ciel looked at his butler with utter terror and with a shutter said, “I….I think….I think I did this…to…to…myself. No one else is here… “

A small tear slipped down the proud Earl’s face. Disappointed with this own weak behavior and refusing to feel sadness or fear, he chose to feel what he was used to so he got furious. Furious at himself for having a weak mind; it was better to be angry than to feel hopeless.

“Sebastian, what is wrong with me? I woke up and I had a knife; my legs were cut. First it was night terrors, and then it was memory lapses, and now this?! What the fuck is going on?! Tell me, now!!!” Ciel yelled into his butler’s face.

A frown and the sense of pity was etched onto his able butler’s face. Sebastian sighed and started to softly speak as not to agitate the lord further. “My Lord, you have been through immense loss and pain in your young life. You have endured so much in such a short amount of time. You are strong my young master but sometimes one’s mind cannot bear the atrocities forever. I have read medical texts and, though I am not an expert; you may be experiencing what the physicians call ‘hysteria’ or an ‘irritable heart.’

Ciel sighed heavily as he could not believe what he was hearing his butler say. With a worn out expression, Ciel spoke calmly and looked at his butler with an icy glare that could send a chill down the spine of most men. “Sebastian, I am not crazy. Do you understand me?”  
  
Bowing, Sebastian removed the teacup from the side table and said, “Yes, my lord, I understand, you are most definitely not crazy. However, there are treatments I have heard of that can help one in your … condition. Do you permit me to assist you in ridding yourself of these…how do you say….episodes?”

Ciel looked up at his butler with unease but he was desperate to rid himself of these awful happenings. “Do what you will Sebastian. Just make these night terrors and ‘issues’ go away; that is an order.” Ciel said with hope that he will be back to his old self soon. He had an able butler and as a demon he was able to do the most extraordinary things and this should be no different right?

~~~end flashback~~~

Presently, Ciel banged his head on the wall he was leaning against to stop the replay of that horrible night. He told his butler to help him rid himself of these mental horrors. Sebastian did read up on treatments, though how they could be called treatments Ciel would never know. Ciel needed to be himself again but he also didn’t believe these treatment sessions would help due to the after effects they inflicted.

Ciel sat and thought on it all while banging his head against the wall behind him.  _The treatments, so painful they are. The pain is worse than when Vincent marked my eye. No…not Vincent…Vincent was my predecessor. Someone burned my eye. I remember pain and blackness. Who? Bastian did it right? Yes…no, that doesn’t sound right. Not Bastian…Seb…Sebastian. Yes, Sebastian is the butler. Oh, my head hurts, burning, searing headaches all the time now. Things are getting muddled._ Ciel looked down at the small book in his hands. He flipped through the pages, wondering why he had it in his hands in the first place. The exhausted little lord started to read the entries to himself.

* * *

  
_Entry 1:_ Today I came to consciousness in my bathroom with a knife and slashes on my thighs. I do not know what is happening. I do not remember doing this to myself or going into the bathroom. Sebastian dressed my wounds and gave me tea. He told me I had something called ‘irritable heart’ or ‘hysteria.’ I am not crazy. I know I am not crazy and something is amiss here. Sebastian told me there are treatments he can research with my permission. Somewhere in my muddled mind I think he has something to do with all of this somehow, someway, but I cannot continue like this. I have no one else so I ordered my butler to assist me to rid me of these terrors.

_Entry 2:_ Sebastian’s treatment he found is worse that when I was in a cage and beaten for a month. Physicians say these so called treatments will help cure the mind. What do they call these treatments? They call them shock therapy. Awful torture is what they are. Sebastian tells me that he’s sure the human doctors know what they are talking about and continues to administer the treatments. I am strapped to a cot, with wet sponges on my temples and a bit of rubber in my mouth while Sebastian adjusts the ‘torture machine’. He turns on the machine and a jolt of unimaginable pain wrecks through my body again and again. Sebastian seems to try and sooth me but I cannot think while this is happening. Sometimes I don’t know where I am after the shocks. I am afraid I will forget things permanently. I hope this treatment works quickly. I do not know how much I can endure.

_Entry 3_ : I am Lord Ciel Phantomhive. I am the Queen of England’s watchdog. I am 14 years old. My parents were murdered years ago and I was put in a cage and treated worse than an animal for a month. I wanted a way out and revenge. I made a deal with a demon at the price of my soul. This demon, I named Sebastian Michaelis, he will serve me until I obtain my revenge, he will then consume my soul and the contract is complete.

_Entry 4:_ I am Ciel Phantomhive. I am a watchdog for the Queen. My parents are dead. I cannot remember their names. I black out at times. Blocks of memory are gone I think.

_Entry 5:_ I do not know who I am sometimes. I wrote previous entries expecting this I think. I need to read it to know what is happening. A man dressed in black says he is my butler. I get lost in this house. Why is this happening to me? I read Entry 3 over and over. Is this who I am? Is this permanent?

* * *

 

Ciel closes the book and lays down on the floor. “Ciel Phantomhive huh? I like that name I guess.” The little lord says with a yawn as he slowly drifts to sleep with his book as a pillow.


	5. Let's Play

Sebastian entered the young lord’s study as he did not find him in his bed where he last put him. Rounding the corner he found the defenseless boy curled up on the floor, asleep with a book as his pillow. Sebastian tsked, “My lord, this is no way for a noble to sleep.” he said as he gently slid the book from under the lord’s head. “My, what do we have here?” Sebastian said as he flipped though the tattered book. Noticing that the earl was still sleeping, despite the lack of the makeshift pillow, the butler began to read the contents of this new found book.

Flipping through the pages he read that Ciel was trying to keep his memory intact by making notes on daily happenings and noting who he was, what had happened to him, and who his servants were. Sliding the book ever so gently back behind his master head, Sebastian, whispered, “My lord, how careless of you to leave something so precious for a devil to find.” Sebastian grinned and his eyes glowed with hellfire for a second before he started to wake his sleeping charge.

“Young master, this is not a proper place to sleep. Please get up. It is time to start the day.” Sebastian said as he gently woke the sleeping boy.

Ciel awoke and looked around sleepily. When he looked down and realized his precious diary was out for all to see he snatched it up quickly and put it behind his back. Childish, yes, but what was he to do with his butler glaring down on him. Sebastian ignored the futile gesture and picked his master up off the floor and went into his bedroom to get him dressed.

The days passed slowly. Sebastian never mentioned seeing the Phantomhive diary, which Ciel was very grateful for. Ciel’s memories started to return bit by bit over the next coming months since Sebastian suddenly decided that the treatments weren’t effective enough and stopped them. He was grateful, though he never dared tell his butler so. As his memory returned, things started getting back to normal. He didn’t feel so helpless and strange anymore and he started to take on a lesson or two to start with.

The young lord was starting to feel like himself again. He did not misplace anything in several months, he was able to keep up with a few lessons, and his butler seemed to stop trying to get him “treatments” for his so called _issues_. Ciel wrote in his diary that it had been six months since the thigh slashing incident and he has never felt better. He actually felt well enough to start taking on cases for the queen again. After finishing up his journal entry he put the book back in its hidden compartment and called for Sebastian to ready him for bed. As normal, Sebastian promptly bathed him and tucked him into bed and departed with a deep bow. The young lord sighed and spoke to the empty room. “Tomorrow, I will invite Lady Elizabeth over. I have been so ill and she has wanted to visit for weeks but I have declined every time. Yes, tomorrow it is.”

Ciel had a restless sleep and tossed and turned with nightmares all night. He awoke feeling hot and damp and wondered for a split second if he had urinated himself during a night terror. Sighing he reached over and turned the lantern up to illuminate the large room and find the water on the nightstand. After turning back around he promptly vomited at the sight on his bed. It quickly registered why he was feeling warm and wet, for his bed was soaked in blood. Ciel shook his head furiously, trying to wake himself up out of this hellish nightmare. He had night terrors like this before, sickening, scary, and real looking. But this time he did not, could not wake up. Why was there blood covering his duvet? No, not just the duvet…looking down he noticed that he himself had blood on his nightshirt and hands and a familiar letter opener lying on a pillow next to…next to….Lizzy!

“Sebastian!” he screamed. “Sebastian, help me, wake me up please!”

Sebastian came bursting through the door and skidded to a stop in front of his master’s bed.

Looking at Ciel, then down to the bed, and back up to Ciel again, Sebastian shrieked, “Young Master! What have you done?!”

“I didn’t do anything you fool! Help her, please, that is an order!”

“Yes, my lord.”

Sebastian went to Lizzy and gently unfolded the bloody sheets from her body. He checked her pulse for Ciel’s sake, but being a demon, he could already tell that her soul was gone.

“I’m sorry my lord. She has already passed.”

“No, no Sebastian! I order you, bring her back NOW!!!”

“Young master, I do apologize but not even _I_ can bring a human back from death. ... What exactly happened here?”

“How should I know Sebastian?! I woke up feeling hot and wet and I see blood and then I see the letter opened and then…then…Lizzy. No, not Lizzy.” The young master was starting to feel wet tears collect behind his eyes. His servants never returned, that was bad enough, but now Lizzy was gone. Everyone was leaving him.

“My lord, I think it would be best if we confined you where you cannot hurt anyone else. It would be for your safety and anyone else that visits.” Sebastian suggested

Ciel was in a daze and still could not believe what was really happening at the moment. Elizabeth was dead and it looked like it was by his own hands. He knew he would never hurt Lizzy. All of the months that went by without any issues and now this; it seems he never got better and was just holding the crazy in.

The anguished little lord  jumped up from his bed. “Sebastian, what am I going to do? I didn’t do this!”

“My lord, you have suffered so much. It appears your mind has finally broken. Let’s be honest, you never _really_ liked Lizzy in the first place did you?”

Ciel pointed his finger right at his grossly insulting butler. “How dare you! I cared for Lizzy deeply!!! I don’t even know how she got here and in my bed no less!”

“Lady Elizabeth came by last evening and stayed overnight. You do not remember master?”

“Don’t give me that shit Sebastian. I have not forgotten anything in a long while and I would not forget if Lizzy stayed over.”

“My dear master, what has become of you?” Sebastian said with a sneer.

“Sebastian, I order you to tell me who murdered Lizzy!”

“Why you did, young master. You are covered in her blood are you not? What was it? Did she come to your bed hoping you would ravish her? Did you get so disgusted that you slit her throat?” Sebastian asked menacingly as his face inched closer to his masters.

Ciel was so angry at his butler he was shaking and before he could think better of it he lashed out and slapped the butler has hard as he could across his face. He was not expecting the harsh reaction he would receive however. He was the master after all and Sebastian was his servant and his demon. Before Ciel could get his hand down after the hard slap, Sebastian grabbed his thin wrist and twisted it harshly around and had Ciel pinned to the edge of his bed with his hand behind his back in an instant.

The little lord gasped at the quick action and radiating pain and yelled fiercely, “You bastard! How dare you assault your master you damn demon!!!”

Sebastian chuckled a deep dark laugh that was not the voice of a human and knelt down to brush his lips against his master’s ear and whispered. “My sweet master, so you want to play? Finally…”

Ciel was then hoisted up over his butler’s shoulder and taken down to the bowels of the manor. The infuriated lord kicked and screamed as much as he could but it did nothing to the demon dressed in black. As they arrived at the dungeon door, Ciel received a harsh slap to his behind, which startled him into a second of silence.

“My lord, do save your voice. You will need it in the time to come. We will have so much fun. Well, I should say, **_I_ ** will be having fun while **_you_** will be writhing in pain.” And with that Sebastian opened and stepped through the dungeon door ready for some sadistic fun with his oh so unwilling master.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going through and updating the beginning chapters to break up the big paragraphs for easier reading. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story and thank you so much for reading!


	6. Demon Off the Leash

Ciel was covered in complete darkness and couldn’t even see his hand in front of his own face. After stepping through that dungeon door everything went black and he woke up here, somewhere in more darkness. He didn’t know if he blacked out or was forced into unconsciousness. The young lord moved his arms and legs and determined that everything felt normal and he wasn’t injured at least and for that, he was thankful.

“Of course I wouldn’t be injured. He can’t harm his own master.” The arrogant lord said to himself out loud in the dark, dank room. He half expected to hear a sneer or snide remark of some kind, thinking the demon was watching him in the darkness, but all was silent. It was unnerving to be in a room so black. Ciel started shivering from the cold as his nightgown did nothing to shield him from the dropping temperature. “Damn demon couldn’t even give me a blanket!” He called out, again to the darkness. Silence is all that responded. His demon was not watching him and apparently just dumped him in this room and left.

Tired of this game, Ciel got up and started feeling around the walls in the dark. Slowly he made his way around the room with just his hands as his guide. He hoped to find a door or way out of some kind but all he found was a locked door. There was no way out and no rocks on the ground or none he could feel, in order to make a spark. “Dammit! There is nothing here. He must have swept this place clean! I cannot find anything to start a fire so I can keep warm down here.” sighed the infuriated lord.

Feeling tired, Ciel curled up in a corner of the room and tried to get in a comfortable sleeping position since he had nothing else better to do. Laying his head on the cobbled damp floor was not comfortable. He then tried lying on his hands; still not very soft. Finally, he looked down at his damp nightgown. “Well, this really isn’t doing anything to keep me warm anyway.” he said before he removed the thin material, rolled it up, and put it behind his head as a makeshift pillow. “Ah, that’s a little better. I wish I had another piece of clothing to cover myself but this is all I’ve got.” He shivered as he lay on the bare ground, having nothing to shield himself from the dampness. He started blushing in the darkness as the realization of what he was doing dawned on him. He was being forced in stay in a dark dungeon, without light, without coverings, and on top of all that, he was lying on the ground nude, using his only clothing as a pillow. _How disgraceful._ He thought to himself before he drifted off to sleep.

Ciel did not open his eyes when he awoke. He told himself that it must have all been a horrible nightmare. Of course his demon wouldn’t have killed Lizzy and put him down in the dungeon. He had an active imagination and it was just tormenting him since he was reading those horror stories a few weeks ago. As much as he tried to convince himself that it was all a dream, he knew it was not. He could feel the dampness of his skin and a light breeze upon his naked flesh. Sighing, he opened his eyes; expecting to see Sebastian or at least something. Again, darkness is all he could see. Nothing had changed since he first fell asleep. Sitting up, he leaned his head again the wall and noticed his stomach grumbling. “I’m hungry you goddamn demon. Are you trying to starve me too?!” he yelled into the silent abyss. He didn’t know why he even yelled but it felt good to do so.

“Of course not my lord.” a voice said from somewhere in the blackness. Ciel screamed. He was not expecting anyone to be there and especially not as close as the voice seemed to be. He stretched his arms out in from of him and felt around but nothing was there. “What? Sebastian, are you there?” Ciel said with a hitch in his voice. He did not want to sound desperate but it felt like he was down there already for days and the isolation and blackness was getting to him. Suddenly the room was ablaze with light. The young lord squinted and shielded his eyes with his hands. Being without light for that long made it painful to see any light at all but it was like the sun was in that room with him at the moment. After giving his eyes time to adjust he was able to look around and see that he was in one of the dungeon’s solitary chambers. Sebastian was standing in front of him, dressed in his uniform, and had a smile on his face just like a perfect butler would.

“My lord, you were making a racket about breakfast, were you not?” asked Sebastian.

“Don’t be stupid. You locked me down here with nothing. What are you planning dammit?!” Ciel yelled.

“Master, I am planning to give you your breakfast.”

“Where is it? You have no tray, no food. I order you to stop this traitorous behavior, return me to my room, and give me my breakfast. NOW!”

Sebastian did not answer and just slowly creeped toward his master, who was still sitting up in the corner of the room.

“My lord, you seemed to have cornered yourself…and in such a prime position to receive your breakfast.” Sebastian said with a menacing laugh.

“What? Do as I say Sebastian! Room and breakfast n…” Ciel could not finish his sentence. Sebastian quickly grabbed his lord’s throat, stopping his words instantly.

“As you wish, my master. Your breakfast is served.” Sebastian said in the sweetest voice as he unfastened and unzipped his trousers; letting out a cock that would make any woman or man scream in fear. He paused and released his master’s throat. He wanted the realization to set in nice and slow. He could almost see the wheels turning in his master’s head as the realization flushed the lord’s pale cheeks and made his eyes as wide as saucers.

Ciel make a quick attempt to get up and bolt but was grabbed and slammed back down to the floor. Recovering quickly he screamed with all his might, “You bastard! Get away from me you disgusting demon! How dare you expose yourself; how dare you suggest something so foul…so unspeakable!!!”

“Master, I must feed you, as you have said. Did you know human semen has many proteins that can fill your belly to avoid starvation?”

“NO, get away!” Ciel punched at Sebastian but none of them landed. He knew there was no way to fight off his demon but he would still try.

Sebastian didn’t say anything and just grinned down at his master with a grin that was much too wide for a human mouth to accomplish. “Relax my lord. I will do my duty and feed you. You did not say it had to be food. Besides, you may enjoy it.”

With that Sebastian grabbed Ciel’s jaw, prying it open, and sunk his gigantic cock down Ciel’s throat as far as he could. The thick cock could only go down about half way when he had to stop for fear of dislocating the earl’s jaw or tearing his lips. That would come later. For now he stilled as his lord gasped for air, arms flailing in the air, and tears openly flowing down his reddened cheeks.

The butler began to fuck his master’s mouth, slowly at first and then picking up speed. In and out, in and out, his cock pounded the lord’s mouth while the back of his head banged into the concrete wall behind him.  Ciel continued to fail his arms and hit Sebastian wherever he could but it did nothing to stop the assault.  He couldn’t think straight as the pain from banging his head against the wall was getting almost as bad as the increasing pain in his jaw. His butler was slowly forcing his cock down his throat further and the force of the thrusts were increasing.

Sebastian was getting close to cumming. The butler in black was in pure bliss and he was delighted to see the blooming blood stain on the back of the wall where his poor master’s head was hitting savagely. He was a little disappointed that there wasn’t any blood on his cock from stretched lips yet.

“My lord, you mouth is delightful!” Sebastian cooed. “Here it is...your…*grunt* break…fast…!” Sebastian huffed out as the warm liquid spewed out of his overly large cock into his master’s abused throat. There was so much cum it was dripping out of Ciel’s mouth. After spending, Sebastian’s dick popped out of Ciel’s  mouth with smack.

Gasping for air, Ciel’s lungs expanded and contracted while he finally got the air he needed. Instantly he began spitting up the hot fluid, coughing and wheezing; trying to spit what he could out onto the floor.

“Master, do not waste your breakfast! You will not get more until tomorrow morning.” Sebastian said in a stern voice.

Ciel tried to respond with a screaming order but all that came out was a horse insult. “You! *cough* You, how dare you! Sick fucking demon!”

Sebastian looked Ciel up and down with a smirk on his face. “Sick? My lord, it seems you quite enjoyed it.” Sebastian said while pointing a gloved finger down at Ciel’s privates.

The young lord hesitantly, slowly gazed his eyes downward; afraid of what he would see. To his horror and embarrassment, the young lord’s cock was as hard as it could get and weeping with precum.

Instantly Ciel’s hands flew to his privates, trying to cover them as best as he could. His cheeks were bright red with embarrassment and anger. He turned his head away from his butler, refusing to look at him.

The lord was confused, as he didn’t understand how he could ever be aroused by being assaulted. He was never taught how the human body worked. He never needed those lessons before. All he needed was the power to enact his revenge; yet now those biology lessons he said were stupid seemed like they may have been necessary after all. At least he would be able to understand what was going on with his own body, he thought.

Sebastian tore the young lord out of his thoughts when he began speaking. “Do not be embarrassed master. You will learn to enjoy the pain I give you and you will get aroused by it like you are now. Believe me, when I am done with you, you will even enjoy me eating you alive.” And with an insulting laugh, Sebastian disappeared.

Ciel was left lying in his butler’s cum, terrified of what was in store for him and wondering how this all happened. How, how did his demon break free of his leash? Did he ever have one to begin with?


	7. Dinner & Dessert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be warned, there is cannibalism in this chapter.

It had to have been a day, or at least it felt like it, since Ciel’s mouth was so brutally abused. The young lord had been able to sleep a little, anything to stop the growling and gnawing in his stomach, but now that he was awake the pain was back. How long had it been since he’d eaten? He had not seen his butler again since he was assaulted. He wondered how long he could last without food. He found a bit of dampness from the crack in the wall and resorted to collecting as much water as he could to alleviate his dry mouth. Sighing, Ciel did the only thing he could do and went back to sleep; making sure to be as far away from the dried cum stain on the floor as he could.

* * *

 

Ciel stirred from his slumber a while later. After stretching and yawning his eyes sprang open. He padded the area around him frantically with both hands. “What is this? I…I’m in my bed?!” Ciel sat straight up with eyes wide open to focus on his own bedroom. Nothing was different, his same bedroom staring back at him. It was like nothing happened at all, how strange.

After a few moments of contemplation Ciel jumped off the bed to make a bolt for the door. His butler was not in his room, he had mere seconds or so before he could sense or hear his rousing. Grabbing the door and flinging it open he ran right into a silver serving trolley and fell backward right on his butt. It was like hitting a cement wall with no give like a normal trolley would have. “Ow!” he yelled as he glared at his obstruction.

“Master, please do not run. You could injure yourself.” His said as he looked down with a smile at the little lord, still on the floor.

“Get away from me!” Ciel snarled. He hopped up and just glared at his butler, knowing that trying to shove Sebastian out of the way to escape would be completely useless.

“My lord, I realized that you must be quite hungry by now. Forgive me, I was enjoying the silence of the manor and simply forgot you were down the dungeon.”

“Bastard! Why am I in my room? Surely you don’t believe I would just forget all you’ve done…what you _made_ me do?!” Ciel said with a shudder.

“Would you rather be in the dungeon? I can take you back there.”

“NO..no…here is fine.” Ciel said after crossing his arms. He looked down at the tray he previously ran into and was in shock. On the tray was the most delicious piece of steak with vegetables he had ever seen. It was elegantly prepared just as Sebastian had always prepared his meals. His mouth instantly started to water and his stomach growled uncontrollably as he stared at the feast.

“Hungry my lord?” Sebastian said as he gestured for Ciel to sit at the desk near his bed. Apprehensively Ciel sat; he was on edge but he was oh so hungry. He wanted to throw the food right in his butler’s face but that would do nothing but waste food…food that he needed.

Sebastian sat the plate in front of Ciel along with the fine silverware and a large glass of water. Ciel just stared at him, unsure if he wanted to eat what Sebastian prepared after everything he’d done to him.

“It’s not poisoned my lord. Please eat. I know it has been over a day since you’ve consumed sustenance…not including the breakfast you so foolishly wasted.” Sebastian said with a sadistic grin.

At that remark, Ciel wanted to throw up at the memory of what his butler forced him to do. It was too bad that his hunger got the better of him and he grabbed utensils and started cutting the steak.

Hesitantly he took the first bite. Flavor bloomed in his mouth. Tender steak, perfectly seasoned, flooded his taste buds. He waited a few minutes, waiting to see if he would drop dead or start coughing, but nothing happened. He ate more and was in awe at the delightful flavor. After starting to cut another piece of the meat his knife snagged. Surprised that there would be any gristle in this prime cut he looked closer and widened the cut where his fork was to get a better look.

At the bottom of the plate there was a small string of pink ribbon. Curious, Ciel moved the steak around as well as the vegetables and found more of this ribbon. Odd, why would a ribbon be in a steak?

“Sebastian, what is this? There is ribbo….” Ciel stopped mid-sentence and looked at his butler. He knew this ribbon and where, no who, it was from. Even if he wasn’t sure, just the look on his butler’s face, Ciel knew. He knew. The realization sunk in and his face went pale. He coughed and coughed as much as he could. He stuck his fingers down his throat, trying to make himself throw up. “No, no, no! You sick fucking bastard! How dare you! How could you?!” Ciel screamed between coughs. Tears streamed down his face. He was sickened, heartbroken, disgusted, and he hated himself for being so hungry that he didn’t notice something was off about the steak. He didn’t stop to think of why Sebastian would have prepared him such a feast after all that he’d done. How could he have been so stupid?

Darkness clouded the room as Sebastian’s tendrils filled the open spaces. Eye’s glowing and face a malicious, terrifying grin, Sebastian leaned over his gasping master. “My lord, it would have been wasteful to just discard the meat. Lady Elizabeth always wanted to make you happy. Look how happy you were as you were devouring her remains. I was simply fulfilling her wish.”

Ciel was in shock. Shaking, crying, coughing, vomiting, he tried to expel what he was deceivingly fed. His mind just couldn’t comprehend how despicable his butler was. Sebastian forced Ciel to be ravenous and then fed him his beloved Elizabeth’s remains. Disgusting, appalling, sadistic. All of these things the demon that was taunting him was guilty of and there was nothing the young lord could do about it.

Ciel shut down. He slipped off his chair, slumped on the floor, unmoving, and drool dripping from his mouth. It was as if he was catatonic. He was in such a shock that he retreated into himself.

Sebastian was not happy. The demon got excited and hard while watching the terror of emotions flood the earl’s face as the appalling reality hit him. The excitement was fading as Ciel was unmoving on the floor.

* * *

 

“My lord, do not shut down on me now. You have yet to have your dessert.” Sebastian said as he knelt down in front of the slumped earl. Ciel was unresponsive.

Sighing, Sebastian inched closer and licked the shell of Ciel’s ear and whisper softly. “Dessert is the best part. Cherries my lord. Well, I should say, YOUR cherry. So, it’s more like my dessert then.” And with that Ciel was grabbed and flung on the bed, stomach down.

At that sudden movement Ciel snapped out of it when he hit the bed and tried to scramble up but was shoved back down by a hard shove to the middle of his back.

“No, no, no more Sebastian! Please no, not that!” Ciel begged.

“As I said my lord, this will be a fine dessert. Do try to relax and let me in.” Sebastian chided.

“Never! I will not let you violate me! How dare you try and disgrace me this way!!!” Ciel shrieked as he tried to squirm and kick as much as he could.

Sebastian had enough. He was ready for his dessert and as much as the earl did not want it, he was going to get it. “You don’t have a choice my lord. If you relax I will go in smoother and you may even enjoy it.”

“Grr, NO!”

Sebastian’s blacked tipped fingers became claws on his right hand while his other hand held the earl down on the bed. His claws made shreds of the nightshirt he dressed Ciel in after he brought him upstairs unknowingly as he slept. Slowly the clawed hand moved to spread the luscious cheeks of the terrified earl apart. Ciel suddenly turned rigid as he felt the claws on his delicate flesh. His mind raced as he tried to prepare for pain. He didn’t know if Sebastian would literally rip him open with his claws first and then fuck his dying body or if he would be kept alive. Either way was terrifying.

Razor sharp talons poked at the earl’s tender exposed hole. Little droplets of blood accumulated around his rosy rim. Ciel felt the warm droplets but it wasn’t too painful as the talons were so sharp it was like swift pin pricks. He tried to be as unmoving as a board; terrified that one wrong move and he would be impaled with those long black talons. He was at his butler’s mercy. He could not run. He could not hide. Tears streamed down his face as the realization hit him that he would be raped by the person that should have protected him. The person, no, the demon, that he started to trust had turned on him. There was no hope now. He gritted his teeth as he felt the talons continue to poke and draw blood.

Satisfied at the amount of blood streaming out of the tiny cuts around the lord’s quivering hole, Sebastian decided to give his silent charge a bit of pleasure before the harsh pain to come.

Ciel gasped and a moan escaped his lips as he felt a warm, wet tongue prod his bleeding entrance. Sebastian’s tongue swirled the blood around the quivering lord’s hole before he dove his tongue right in as far as it could go.

There was a shot of pain at the quick entrance but the feeling of having a warm, wet tongue caress his insides was indescribable and intensely pleasurable. Ciel began moaning as his butler’s tongue swirled around inside him. His face was beat red from embarrassment, but the sensation was so good!

Sebastian relished at the shameful noises his master was making. The abnormally long tongue began pistoning in and out of the blood and saliva slicked hole. Ciel was about gone and started pushing back toward his butler to get more of that hot tongue. And then it was gone. The warm sensation was suddenly ripped out of his hole and he was left empty.

Ciel turned around to see what his butler was doing but instantly regretted what he saw. Sebastian had unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers to let loose that monster cock of his and he was stroking it. Sense suddenly came back to the earl and he started clawing toward the edge of the bed, trying to get up.

“Tsk, tsk. My lord we are not finished yet. I want my cherry and you are going to give it to me.” Sebastian said as he grabbed Ciel’s ankle and positioned him back in the middle of the bed.

Ciel didn’t even have time to start kicking. Sebastian’s hands, now talon free, grabbed both of Ciel’s cheeks so he could see the tight rosebud, the perfect bullseye, up-close.

“Enjoy your dessert my lord.” Sebastian patronized as he lined up and pushed his gigantic cock up into the lord’s ass.

“Ahhhhhhhh….noooooo…..god….no…..” Ciel cried as his ass was brutally impaled. Blood gushed out of the young earl’s torn hole. Sebastian was manically laughing as he seated himself inside his much too small master. The squish of the saliva and copious amounts of blood was music to the demons ears. He delighted at the pants, cries, and whimpers of his broken little lord.

“Relax my lord. Your body will become accustomed to my girth. Just breathe in and out. I will not let you pass out on me.”

Ciel breathed through the pain. It felt like a knife had cut open his tiny hole. He knew he must have been gushing blood all over the place. He wondered if Sebastian would get him stiches or make him suffer.

In reality, his ring was not torn as badly as he’d thought. There was a lot of blood but the harsh tonguing that Sebastian had given him earlier seemed to relax his insides more than the earl realized. He was torn but it wasn’t like a gaping hole that would not close as he was picturing in his mind.

Sebastian took the calming breaths as a signal to continue. The large appendage began moving in and out of the much too small hole at a rapid pace. Ciel grasped onto the bedsheets so he wouldn’t be thrown off. Small moans unfortunately escaped him as Sebastian’s engorged cock got closer to the spot of bliss. The young earl just wanted it to be over with. He hoped that the demon would just be done with him.

Sebastian moved Ciel’s hips up just a bit and was rewarded with a loud “Oh yes!” from his unwilling partner. “Of course my lord.” The demon snickered as he started to pound into that sweet spot.

Ciel was a mess. He didn’t know whether he was calling out in pain or pleasure or maybe both. After a hard push to his sweet spot he saw white as a came with a grunt. Cum spurted from his untouched little cock as Sebastian continued to hit his prostate. In a hazy afterglow stupor, Ciel just laid on the bed, spent, while his butler continued the assault.

Sebastian’s dick got even harder after making his master cum so unwillingly. He pounded harder into that tight heat, close to his own release. Black tipped fingers gripped the lord’s hips harder as he pounded into him, leaving little red droplets of blood down his thighs. After a particularly hard thrust, slamming once again into the abused prostate, the demon came hard into that tight ass.

Ciel winced as the hot cum filled his bleeding and wrecked hole. The cum felt like a blast of fire, searing his insides where the little fissures wept. Sebastian pulled out of the aching ass after a few minutes of intense cumming, his dick trailing with blood. The sheets were stained a lovely crimson. Sebastian smiled at the state of his master. Ciel was just lying on the bed, exhausted and in pain.

Sebastian crawled up and rested on Ciel’s back, kissing and licking his neck. In between nips and kisses the devilish butler whispered, “My lord, I hope you enjoyed your cherry dessert. I found it delicious. My cock is covered in your bursted cherry’s delightfully red juices.


	8. Why?

The burn of the soapy water was intense on the lord’s torn and abused hole. He sat alone in the bath after Sebastian deposited him there after the assault. No, not assault, it was rape, pure brutal rape. Ciel tried not to cry, he was still a lord after all, but all the courage and bolstering had left him. Wrapping his arms around his knees and drawing them in close, he let himself finally cry. He cried more than he ever had, even more than after his parents’ death or during the beatings while he was captured. The young lord never thought Sebastian would really torture him nor go so far as to rape him. He finally realized that he had no control and probably never did. It was a lonely feeling and he felt such crushing despair. Sebastian hadn’t returned to the bath to mock him yet so he continued to let the tears and anguish flow freely.

A door slowly opened, going unnoticed by the sobbing earl.

“My Lord, are you quite done?” Sebastian said as he silently entered.

Ciel quickly wiped his face and sniffled but for the life of him he could not stop flood. His heart was ripped in a million pieces; just as his backside felt. If he was in his right state of mind he’d have never uttered what he was about to.

“You win.”

“What, my lord? Won?”

Ciel turned to his butler and looked him straight in the eyes. “You won Sebastian. What…what you did. How could you?! You…of all the disgusting, evil, torturous people I’ve encountered …YOU are the one that has broken me. Congratulations you fucking bastard!”

Sebastian grinned with the most patronizing and mocking expression and moved toward his young charge. Ciel continued to glare at him upon approach. They were now face to face, Sebastian leaning down to be directly at Ciel’s eye level. The two just stared at one another without saying a word.

Ciel didn’t know what his butler was going to do but he wasn’t expecting to be grabbed and forced to open his mouth to receive the long tongue that accompanied a scorching kiss. He tried to push his demon off him but it was no use. Sebastian released his mouth with a loud smacking pop.

Grinning again and still holding the back of Ciel’s neck, Sebastian whispered in a seductive voice with his answer to the little lord’s confession of defeat. “My lord, don’t lie to me. You don’t think I’ve heard your little wanton cries during the night for me to have my way with you? You forget my lord that I…Hear…Everything.”

Ciel was furious but had no words so he reared back and spit right in the pristine butler’s face. Sebastian just kept grinning and reached his long tongue out to collect the spittle and swallow it.

“If you wanted to swap fluids again my lord, you just need to ask. You know you’ve wanted me ever since we met.”

Sebastian rose and walked around the tub and continued to talk at his furious but speechless earl.

“I was your savior. I was your knight in shining black armor. I have had to take the place of your mother, father, tutor, and friend; it is only natural that you develop feelings for me. So admit it my lord, you’ve wanted me to fuck you for years now. Don’t pull that, ‘I’m broken.’ bit with me! Plus, we know you are stronger than that.”

The earl’s head was swirling. He never thought about Sebastian hearing him when he was supposed to be sleeping. It was a stupid mistake and now it was being used against him. It was true, he did want Sebastian in a sexual way, but consensual, not forceful. He felt his butler was his everything, though he would never admit it to him. This was the same reason he felt broken now. Even after everything, Sebastian truly crossed the line and raped him, just like those heathens that kidnapped him almost did. Those monsters were going to sacrifice him on their altar and then rape him while he was dying but Sebastian appeared and saved him; in more ways than one. And now…now Sebastian was the one that hurt him the most. Being raped and violated was so much worse that being beaten, locked in a dungeon, or denied food.

By Sebastian raping him in such a violent way, it took away any semblance of power Ciel thought he had. It was so obvious now, even though it should have been before. Ciel was powerless. Sebastian could do whatever he wanted with his mind or body and there wasn’t a damn thing Ciel could do about it. Realizing that kind of powerlessness, it truly broke the young lord.

Ciel cleared his throat. “Why?”

“My Lord?” Sebastian said questioningly.

“Why do all this? We have a contract and you’ve broken it. You were supposed to help me get revenge and you’ve tortured me instead. So yes, I want to know why. The things that have happened recently, I don’t know what’s real or true anymore.”

Ciel sighed a heavy sigh. “I just want it to be over. I want my revenge as I was promised then you can have my soul.”

Sebastian walked over to the tub and sat on the edge. He looked down at Ciel’s hunched over figure and reached over to stroke his hair. It was almost a loving gesture but with a more “poor little baby” feel to it.

“Oh, my young lord…you have no idea do you? I’m only doing what you’ve asked.”

Ciel looked up at his butler with an inquisitive expression. “What I asked? What do you mean? I never asked to be raped and tortured.”

“Ah, but my lord, you asked for revenge did you not?”

“I wanted revenge on those that were responsible for putting me in that hellhole and for my parents’ death idiot. This is not it.”

“Are you sure my lord?” Sebastian grinned; white fangs peeked out from his top lip.

The earl was frustrated but he was so tired. He was so tired of it all and wanted it to end. He reasoned with himself that he could just get his revenge if he ordered it and then this broken empty feeling would be over. He could die and be done with it all. He made his decision right there in the cooling bath. He would order his revenge now and be done with these stupid games that his butler was playing.

“Enough Sebastian! I’m tired of these ridiculous games of yours. I order you to give me my revenge now.”

“Of course my lord.” Sebastian said as he stood and bowed deeply.

Ciel let out a sigh, closed his eyes, and rested his head against the porcelain tub. The order was given, it wouldn’t be long now until the culprits would be brought to him and he’d get his revenge.

The young lord didn’t even know what was coming. He was sure in the fact that the order he’d given would bring him what he wanted. However, things weren’t as they seemed. Sebastian shadow grew larger against the frame of the small boy in the bath. Red eyes gleamed in the fading light as he inched closer to the unsuspecting boy.

Ciel suddently found himself being shoved down under the water by his throat. Water filled the lord’s lungs as he gasped and flailed his arms about, trying to get oxygen and shove his attacker off of him. Terrified, Ciel looked up through the water at his attacker. Sebastian was grinning ear to ear as he held the helpless earl down under the water with one hand, effortlessly.

Ciel tried to mouth, “Why?,” but more water filled his lungs as he tried to speak and cough at the same time. Sebastian understood just by looking into those bright blue questioning eyes; the marked eye blazing bright.

“You gave me an order my lord. I am complying.”

The earl continued to fight but his strength was fading. He heard what the butler had said but he didn’t understand what it meant and fading oxygen to his brain wasn’t helping.

Sebastian read the confusion on his reddening face.

“You still don’t get it do you?”

“The one responsible for your parents’ death and therefore your kidnapping … was you, yourself my lord.”

Ciel couldn’t believe the nonsense that his butler was spewing. He willed himself to kick and hit harder, he had to find out what the hell was going on. He may have been broken but this was too ironic to go out like this. His parents died of fire and he would die of water…no, he would not let his butler win, not like this. He was renewed with hatred. This wasn’t over, he promised himself.


	9. Revenge

Water burst through Ciel’s nose and mouth during the onset of hard coughing to clear his lungs as he was pulled up from the bath just before he was about to lose consciousness. The water being expelled from the lord’s lungs made his throat heave and feel raw as if razor blades were cutting down his esophagus. He punched his own chest harshly to expel all the water out so he could breathe freely.

As soon as his lungs were clear enough to breathe, he hopped out of the bath and headed straight for the door, desperate to get as far away from his butler as possible. The room was empty; Sebastian seemed to have disappeared after releasing his throat. Slipping across the wet floor, he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself and hesitantly opened the door leading to his bedroom. With the door partially opened, Ciel glanced around the room to the left and right and saw no sign of his butler.

Quietly Ciel started walking across his large bedroom toward the hall door. He didn’t know why he was trying to be quiet as the butler apparently could hear every little thing in the manor, but he felt it couldn’t hurt. He was halfway to the door when a voice boomed behind him.

“Going somewhere?” Sebastian chided.

The young lord tried to take off in a run but was grabbed by his right arm and flung backwards, hard, making him land across the room onto his bed. The plush white towel around his waist came partially undone as he was sprawled on the bed. Sebastian eyed the revealing positing he ended up in hungrily.

Ciel quickly realized how exposed his landing made him and grabbed the towel and duvet up around his waist while Sebastian slowly stalked toward him, licking his lips. Ciel scooted back and put his arms up as a defense mechanism, knowing it would be a futile gesture.

“Stay back Sebastian! Not again, you will not hurt me again! STAY BACK DEMON!!!” Ciel screeched.

“Ah my lord, as tempting as you may be at this very moment, I do not intend to dive into that used hole of yours tonight. You gave me an order and I was going to acquiesce; however, your confused face made me want to torture you with the truth since you apparently have no memory of it. Then, only then, will I continue and suck the life out of you.”

“Damn demon! I cannot trust anything you say, not after what you’ve said and done these past months. You are a liar and you deliberately tried to destroy my mind and body. I trust nothing you say.” The lord screamed at his butler.

“Fine, do not believe me, but I will tell you the truth of what has happened these past months and why. I want to see the anguish and shock on your face before you perish.” his butler said with a sneer.

* * *

 

Sebastian cleared his throat. “Now then…the truth of it all…”

“Your servants are dead. The Midfords, including Lady Elizabeth, are dead…and yes, I killed them all. It was glorious watching their trusting faces as I ripped them apart. And Lady Elizabeth, her face was pure horror when I told her I was going to make you, my lord, believe that you murdered her. She begged me to leave you alone as I was slashing her open. And then the--”

Ciel vomited all over the covers that were pooled around him. He wanted to disappear, to stop this horrid retelling of his demon butler’s deeds, but he had to know what was true. Well, at least he could hear his butler’s version and make a decision on what he felt was true.

Sebastian looked at his master and then at the mess. “Yes well, anyway, the shock treatments…that was brilliant. Making you believe you were going crazy and losing your memory…and you actually started to believe it! It got boring though after I found your journal that was documenting what was happening, so I moved on.”

Sebastian paced back and forth on the plush carpet thinking of all the events that had occurred.

“Let’s see…Ah yes, the slashes on your legs. Of course you didn’t do that to yourself.” The demon laughed. “I gave you a heavy sedative in your tea, slashed you, and waited for the screams as you woke. Just more exciting mind games. You should have enjoyed it, being as you _love_ your games.”

The earl was sick to his stomach and dizzy. He knew he’d never been crazy, he couldn’t be, yet his butler was never supposed to lie to him or hurt him per the contract. He wondered if the contract really was a lie after all.

Ciel coughed and winced from the bile in his throat. “So the contract, was it really all a lie? You were supposed to protect me, never lie, and get my revenge.”

Sebastian stopped pacing and stood directly in front of the bed, looking down at the little earl.

“No my lord, the contract is true and in effect. You just were too arrogant and needy to inquire about all the details of the contract before agreeing to it. I neglected to mention the loopholes and stipulations and you never asked. Regarding our contract, I hold the power and can terminate it and you when I wish. Contracts are more for amusement and it is not needed to devour a human soul. You are just our playthings, we let you think you have the power; it is at our discretion.”

The earl was angry at himself. He had wished that his younger scared self would have asked the questions before hastily agreeing to something so heinous. Of course a deal with a demon would never truly be in the humans favor. He was a stupid child then, he would admit that.

“So, why the torture… the- the- rape? You hurt me enough! Why do the one thing you KNEW would hurt; not just physically but emotionally as well!?”

The butler walked around and knelt down next to the bed, closer to where Ciel was sitting. “My lord, I didn’t need a reason. It was fun, plus, I had to break you. I thought that killing Lady Elizabeth would do it but it did not so I thought about your greatest fears. I found them.” Sebastian grinned at Ciel with a wide eerie smile.

“You disgust me.” Ciel venomously responded.

Sebastian put his hand to what should have been his heart. “Oh, you wound me my lord. So cruel.”

“Now, on to what you really want to know. Why I did this to you…”

The servant rose to stand again over his little lord.

“You do not remember much of the time before your kidnapping. You were a sick child; always clinging to your father and begging him to stay home. Your father was out often on business for the Queen and your mother could not soothe you after your frightening asthma attacks; you wanted your father to comfort you. And so you begged him and cried every time he went out to be the Queen’s Guard Dog.”

The earl lowered his head in shame. He knew he was just a child but it was still hard to hear how needy and helpless he was.

“When you were in that cage you asked me for revenge. You wanted those that were ultimately responsible for your predicament and your parents’ death to suffer and suffer greatly. Well my lord, YOU were the one responsible!”

“NO, no, I couldn’t have been responsible you demon! I was a child, I did nothing to harm my parents!”

Sebastian sighed. “You are wrong my lord. Your constant begging for your father to stay home and your chronic frailty wore on your parents, especially your father. He decided that you were too sick and too important to continue his duties to the Queen. He gave the Queen notice that he would no longer be the guard dog she needed. She refused to let him step down from his duties and warned him there were consequences for disobeying. Your father did not take her warnings seriously as he was too preoccupied with soothing your cries and staying up with you during your attacks.”

“And therefore my lord, YOU are responsible for their deaths and in turn your kidnapping. The Queen made good on her threats. No one would deny the Queen, especially to take care of a sniveling helpless child. The role of the watchdog was too important to lose, yet she couldn’t let the underworld think she let those under her do as they wish, so she decided to make an example out of him. The Queen put a bounty on your family’s head and whoever wiped out the Phantomhives would be rewarded.”

Ciel was speechless. He was being blamed for his own family’s death and his own month of hell afterward. He was a child, how could he be blamed. Yet, if he hadn’t been so needy and hadn’t begged for his father to stay with him, his family would still be alive and the tragedies of the Phantomhives would have never come to pass. And so, with this new knowledge, the person he wanted to get revenge on for starting it all was- was- himself. A single tear escaped Ciel’s distraught face. At that very moment he wanted to die but he didn’t want to demon to get his fill either. He sat, motionless, wondering what his next steps would be.

Sebastian extended a handkerchief to the red eyed boy. After dabbing his eyes with the offered tissue, Ciel raised his head as his butler continued.

“It just so happened that the men that killed your parents thought they would make more money off selling you than killing you. Apparently the Queen sought to use you instead of having you eliminated after finding out you were alive.”

“As the contract stated, I must give you revenge on those that put these events in motion. Since it is almost impossible to take revenge on yourself willingly, I decided to give it to you. You were tortured and raped all because you wanted the person responsible to suffer unimaginable pain. I’ve given that to you, as you wished. You just didn’t realize that you, yourself, were responsible and demanding revenge would lead to your own torture.”

Ciel was openly crying now. It was so twisted and unfair. He wished he’d have known how a demon could twist and manipulate things to make it all his fault before he made the contract. He was a child, how could he be responsible for how he acted back then? He was broken when he was raped by his supposed savior, but now he knew he was broken beyond repair hearing the events that led to his parents’ death. However, no matter how broken and beaten, he was a Phantomhive and on his family name he couldn’t let that demon take everything from him.

“My lord, I have told you everything and you have suffered immensely. I am tired of playing butler. It is time. Do you wish me to bring you anything before I complete the contract?” Sebastian asked.

Ciel’s eyes seemed to get a little glow to them and he looked up. “Yes, yes Sebastian. I would like a tray of all my favorite desserts. I want chocolate cake, scones, lemon meringue pie, all of it. If I am going to die, I want to taste them once more.

Sebastian bowed deeply. “Yes, of course my lord. I will return momentarily with your desserts.” Sebastian exited the room, locking the door from the outside before going down the hall. Ciel jumped up from the bed. He realized he had to think quickly as he only had a short amount of time before his butler would return. He never lost a game yet and he refused to lose this one. He had to do something.

* * *

 

Sebastian was in the kitchen preparing all the desserts that had been his master’s favorites over the years. He knew he would miss Ciel in some respects but he had his fun and he wanted his savory meal more than torturing his master. Pouring the cake batter in the pan, reminiscing about the delightful screams his little lord emitted, is when he suddenly dropped the bowl; it crashed into a million pieces on the ground. Sebastian’s eyes went bright crimson. He smelled blood, lots of blood.

The butler ran up the flights of stairs to his master’s room and burst in the door. The scent of blood was a powerful shock to the senses. Bright crimson eyes darted around the room and stopped at the writing desk in the corner of the room. Standing by the desk was William T. Spears, a grim reaper. Ciel was face down in a pool of blood.

Turning toward Sebastian and adjusting his glasses, William spoke. “You did it this time demon. I’m impressed.”

Seething, Sebastian slowly walked over to the reaper, as if stalking his prey. “Get away from my master!”

“Tsk. Tsk. He is no longer your master you mogrel. Here, he even left a note for you.” William gestured with his scythe to the paper on the desk that was under Ciel’s lifeless hand.

Sebastian went over the read the note. It was written in blood with Ciel’s finger. It said simply: “I WIN.” Next to the paper was a bloody letter opener, similar to the one that Sebastian used on Lizzy.

William pushed the demon away from the body with his death scythe. “I must be taking my leave. I have precious cargo to attend to.”

Sebastian forcefully batted away the scythe. “That soul is mine!” he seethed and bared his fangs.

The reaper adjusted his glasses once more. “No, demon. Ciel Phantomhive expired due to suicide. His soul now belongs to the Shinigami Dispatch Society. Your contract with this soul is null and void as you did not complete the contract due to his suicide; you did not keep him alive to consume his soul.”

Sebastian was livid. Tendrils of dark smoke started to rise from his person. The air got thick and the room went dark. The butler was turning into his true form, unable to calm himself enough to keep his earthly body.

William moved toward the open window in the room, next to Ciel’s desk and turned to speak.

“Go back to where you came from demon. As Phantomhive said in his blood stained note before he slit his own throat, HE WON. This boy outsmarted you and took his own life to avoid you getting his soul. Even in crushing devastation he has his wits. He will be a valued member of the society. Good day mongrel.” A very subtle grin could be seen on the stoic reaper’s face as he leaped out the window and disappeared, leaving the demon astonished and hungry.

Sebastian stood unmoving in the now silent room. He looked down at the cooling body of his young master. “You’ve bested me my lord. I never would have thought you would take your own life, become a reaper, just to spite me. Oh how I do hope we meet again. I cannot wait.” the demon said with a deep throaty laugh and he too disappeared in a whirling cloud of thick smoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for sticking with me through this tortuous and sickening story. This was my first try at writing anything so I hope you didn't feel you wasted your time reading it. 
> 
> It was a little hard to write at times since I do like Ciel, most of the time. However, I felt I needed to see a story where Sebastian was really like the demon that we think of in stories, evil, sadistic, and just plain cruel. I was thinking of making this story longer, but there is only so much torture and pain you can put on our little earl before it just gets repetitive and boring...or just a gore fest.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Don't forget to check out the continuation in the Awake Series, "Awake but not Alive" below!


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